Community post

Well....it seems I have some news.

My husband communicated to me that he doesnt want to have a second child. In projecting forward with our expenses and income, he thinks it will break us. He doesnt want to live paycheck to paycheck and thinks it would cause stress in our marriage....therefore leading us to divorce. Mind you....we both have great jobs....and it IS possible....he just cant spend a grand a month on tech gadgets. We grew up differently....and now he thinks he and our son are entitled to spend spend spend. For me....I would rather clip coupons and have a second child....and he would rather have money in the bank and spoil our one child.

Seems we are at a crossroads because he has known for 10 years that I wanted 2 children.....and he just thinks with our losses....and the fact that our son is 10...we should give up.

I am not sure yet what I want to do with this. My first thought is separating....because I feel devastated. It seems like we have grown apart with this during TTC and want different things.

I should get my hcg results today from my doctor and will be going on BC to control my bleeding....which has really picked up over the last week....so there wont be any TTC now regardless.

I just feel deflated.

Yikes sorry! Typing on my ipad submitted this twice!

I am so sorry, TTC is hard on relationships and I am sorry its been tough on yours. Maybe he is just going through a low spot right now and it will change in a couple of days when he sees how important it is to you and your family? TTC #3 has put strains on my marriage and relationship with others. But to give up on it would feel like an even bigger hole in our world because we want it so bad, and then it would always be awkward between us. Maybe you should talk again heart to heart and come up with a plan to follow. Is he afraid of losing you to another newborn? I know that can scare most men after having one child. I hope you can find peace in whatever you decide. We are here for you!!!!

Aw Melissa I'm so sorry to hear that :( boy we sure are having problems with our hubbies aren't we??? I agree with Brit don't throw in the towel yet!! You should have a serious heart to heart and I think this ttc stuff is a lot harder on our men than we realize. Just think we have this great place to share concerns and fears and emotions but our men really have no where to go. Most men won't discuss feelings but I wonder if they would if there was somewhere for them to go lol we should create a site similar to this but for MEN!!!!! Mine has goe through those phases as well about more kids but he kows I will leave him because I want and will have my own child. About the finances what I always say well after we get a positive the baby's gotta bake for 9 months lol so we have that log after a positive to get them straight!! Men seem to think they just pop right on out but thats not the case and if you don't need to get straight then you have nine months to save instead! I know it feels hopeless at first when hubbys get this was but I'm. Betting he will come around again :) You better keep us updated as well!!!! Take care and stay positive :)

Hi girls...

Well, my blood test from yesterday only went down to 18. Doctor refuses to put me on BC until my levels are at 2. That will be in February at this rate. I'm so mad....and I asked about the 10 weeks of bleeding....and there doesn't seem to be an answer on that. With everything else going on right now, I'd just like to stop wearing a damn maxi pad.

I highly doubt things will change right now between my husband and I. A heart to heart usually only ends up in a fight....because we are not on the same page. He is 100% firm that he does not want another child. I kind of figured that out awhile ago, but he went along with TTC. Mixed signals. Also didn't seem too broken up when we lost this last one. Maybe we are just growing apart....and growing up. We have been together since we were in our early 20s...so, maybe we are two entirely different people now.

Thankfully we work opposite shifts during the week and I don't have to deal with seeing him tonight. I honestly just need some breathing room.

How are you today?

So, I just got a call from my midwife who talked to the specialist at the clinic near me. They want me to stop TTC til after my appointment on the 29th because they want to do a blood clotting disorder test. BUT, I don't WANT to do what they say and try anyways because it will be a waste of a cycle if the test comes back negative and they put me on progesterone anyways (MY suspicion is low progesterone). What do I do??? I am sorely tempted to say the heck with it and go for it. I just ordered my own progesterone cream and I can take baby aspirin myself which is what they would tell me to do anyways if I had a disorder. What should I do?

Melissa - I was so sad to read your posts! I really hope that you guys are able to work through this. I can't imagine the emotions you are going through right now, but please reach out to us when you need us! We're all here for you, cheering you on and supporting you!

Britt- I also had a similar situation. I had to wait until 3 weeks after my D&C to have my bloodwork done and my doctor didn't want me ttc until I knew what was going on- about a week after she took blood It's definitely a very personal decision, but I waited because I really had no idea what would come back since they were testing for tons of things... 14 vials of blood! Yikes! But anyway, turns out I'm a carrier for factor v Leiden (a blood clotting disorder) and am on aspirin now but will change to lovenox/heparin shots as soon as I get a BFP. My doctor said that blood clots usually cause the later mc's... Like week 14 after you think you're ok and out of the 1st trimester. I'm glad I waited, but you know that they are testing for blood clotting disorders and can already start the aspirin now. My fear was that I would get the results after being pregnant and then mc because I couldn't wait and then put myself further behind than I would've been had I waited. But like I said, a very personal decision and I know you'll decide what's best for you! Good luck!

Got my smiley on my opk tonight after work! Super excited! I never test at night but I'm really getting to know my body better and I just had a feeling it was positive! Also gave me tons of bd'ing motivation tonight! Let's go 2ww!! Bring it! How's everyone else?

Hi girls...

Thank you for the supportive and kind words....you are the best bunch of ladies. I am so grateful to have met each of you.

I dont really know what will happen here....hubby seems to be feeling bad about our fight. I am just trying not to think about it. I cant conceive right now anyways....that takes ovulating! Hubby and I love each other a lot....we just want different things.

Britt- I was told that too about not trying until bloodwork came back for blood clotting disorder....you can take baby asprin if you get a BFP....and just contact your midwife right away if that happens. I wouldnt want to put TTC on hold either! I know how you feel! Just keep doing what you're doing and see what happens.

Lisa-- Yay for your positive! Bring on the 2WW!! Get busy!

Hoping to have a peaceful weekend!

I've talked to my husband and we think that the chances of a blood clotting disorder after two kids is unlikely. We are not ruling it out but all of my miscarriages have been 4-5 weeks. So we are going to try the progesterone cream this month, if it doesn't happen then we can get the screening done. But my DH thinks its gonna happen now cuz my expected due date this time would be october 3, and thats when he is gone for two months for work. But I don't care if he is gone, I hope it works this time. Now just gotta wait for the cream to come and figure out how to use it. Hope all you ladies have a great day!!!!